Gainsborough Model Railway Society

Took a trip to Gainsborough yesterday and met up with Richard and Jen. By total coincidence ;-) , it was GMRS open day. It would have been rude to be so close and not pop in.

Lincoln city penalty shootout (training)

Louis Dodds' peno is a bit special but I can't identify the scorer of the thunderbolt at 2m 05s.

Guinness Ad - Anticipation

Who remembers this?

2008 Campsite Olympics

This weekend was the inaugral Campsite Olympic Games. Lime Tree Park, Buxton won the extensive bid process due its excellent grassed areas and relatively low level of human rights infringements.

The competitors were all at the absolute peak of physical and mental fitness. The finest examples of humankind I ever set eyes upon. In no particular order we had me, Martin & Char, Pete & Ginny, Emma, Clint & Joel, Jon, Gareth & Hels, Goldsy, Nick & Amy, Paul & Suzie, Louise, Mark & Rachel and Dave, Maria, Harry & Theo.

Whilst most athletes engage in high altitude training. The campsite athletes took the less orthodox route of subterranean fitness conditioning in the Blue John Cavern. I was unable to join them but I understand the stalactitic deposits were some of the best they'd ever seen. After they returned to the surface, the team nutritional experts recommended a large pub lunch in Edale. Charlotte's choice of a cumberland sausage and a cornish pasty is exactly the dish Paula Radcliffe chooses before a big race. [insert your own punchline here].

The opening ceremony was quite something. Whilst Beijing had fireworks and music, Buxton '08 had a man with a flag. The list of events was exciting and diverse, it included:

• target darts - gold medal won by Shep


• rope puzzles - gold medals won by Shep & Clint


• talking with your mouth full - gold medal won by Nick


• three-legged race - gold medal won by Paul & Suzie


• wheelbarrow race - gold medal won by Paul & Suzie


• limbo - gold medal won by Rachel


• standing long jump - gold medal won by Clint


• egg throwing - gold medal won by Pete & Ginny

Which meant that, at the end of the events, we had a four way tie at the top of the medal table. Paul, Suzie, Clint and me all had two gold medals. Consequently a play off was required. We have Dave to thank for supplying a dazzling array of fancy dress for the event. Apparently all Royal Navy officers have an extensive wardrobe of dresses and wigs. The play off saw a drag queen (me) v a sailor (Charmo) v a cowboy (Suzie) v a sheikh (Clint) in am all-or-nothing sprint around the campsite. Our eventual winner, ladies and gentleman, was Mr C J Walker. Well done to him but I'm sure you'll all agree that sport was the winner.

The closing ceremony lasted all night and involved quite a bit of beer, wine and riddling. Terrific weekend. Oh, and it was Charlotte's birthday. Nearly forgot that bit.

Tony Blackburn's (not that one) 40th birthday party

Tony has reached the big 4-0 and it was his birthday barbecue bash yesterday. Considering Jo is due to drop any day it was quite an achievement to host so many people - I think they had lots of willing helpers, I did nothing!

K and I went down to Emma & Tariq's yesterday lunchtime. We were staying with them in Amersham. Tariq had created a fantastic album of the best of his photos from our wedding. That was a really thoughtful present. Eight months after the big day and we still haven't done an album for ourselves so we were delighted that someone else has taken the initiative.

We travelled over to J & T's at about 4pm and the party was already well under way. The garden was full of people and, luckily, the weather was being friendly. Tony found someone to look after the barbie, and we were all helping ourselves to drinks so the birthday boy could relax.

T had bought a crate of bitter and I think I was the only one drinking it. All the southern softies were on the lager. I did my best but couldn't get through it all! I was also getting gyp for my liking for pork and pastry based products. Every time I looked down, someone had but a sausage roll, pork pie or scotch egg in front of me - not that I'm complaining.

At midnight, we were still sat outside, eating, drinking, laughing and chatting. Great party. Happy birthday Tony.

Michelle & Gareth's Wedding

It was Michelle and Gareth's wedding yesterday and K & I were very happy to be invited.

There had been a lot of rain over the weekend but Saturday dawned bright and sunny.

The ceremony was at the Catholic church on Monks Road. It was the first time I've been in that church and it's very beautiful inside. K & I had got there a bit early so we had a quick snifter in the Jolly Brewer - hadn't been in there for ages and had forgotten what a good pub it is.

The evening party was at the Lawn in Lincoln. All K's workmates were there and their was a lot of enthusiatic dancing.

With the bride's family being South African and the groom being Welsh - there was a lot of rugby love in that room. The crazy dancing/gymnastics skills that were on display looked like they had been honed on many a rugby tour!

They looked like they had a great day - we certainly did. Congratulations and good luck to them both.

Ruby at the Walkers

Had a great curry round at the Walker house last night. There were the Sheps, the Walkers, Steve & Patricia and George & Andy.

C & E were great hosts as usual and we were never without a drink in our hands. Walked home with S & P feeling somewhat merry!

As if by magic, the shopkeeper appeared

Top weekend. Started off on Friday afternoon with 18 holes at Millfield with Ross and his mate Lewis. The outward nine was a disaster, I took 63 (my target is 50) but at the turn my fortunes changed and I came back in 46 which is just nine over for nine holes - by far my best nine holes ever!

K was out with the girls on Friday night so Hicko came round to Shep Towers for a chinois, a couple of DVDs and lots of beer. We each ordered a pancake roll, when they arrived they were the size a small dog (this was possibly one of the ingredients too). It was truly a huge amount of food so it took us all evening to plough through it. M still didn't manage his roll but K snaffled it for him when she got home. We watched a Richard Pryor live show followed by seven episode of Mr Benn. Nice.

Saturday morning we were having a carpet fitted on our stairs and landing. We're really pleased with the way it looks - a very regal, deep red. Mark G nipped in around lunchtime - he'd borrowed our tent and was returning it. He had a scan of his nipper to show off - I definitely think I could see the baby smacking its thigh but I didn't mention it. Saturday afternoon was spent on housework, Olympics, mowing the lawn, football and losing money at William Hill. Lincoln got beat again - that's three defeats from the first three matches this season.

Penny & Philip came round for dinner on Saturday evening. K prepared an edgy veggie soup, cottage pie and cheesecake. It was delicious as usual. After dinner we watched the DVD of the Hickertons @ Heart performance from the Ruby Wedding party. It wasn't nearly as embarrassing as it could have been - I think we can still hold our heads up in public.

I was intending to play golf this morning (Sunday) with Paul but the weather had other ideas so I watched more Olympics instead. Team GB are kicking ass in the rowing, sailing and cycling - basically any sport that you can do sitting down. As of today we are third in the medals table behind China and USA (who each have twice as many athletes as us) - if you ignore Michael Phelps we would have the same number of golds as USA - brilliant performances.

We walked round to the Centurion at lunchtime to meet Martin, Charlotte, Pete, Ginny and Jon. It's Charlotte's 30th tomorrow so we were having a celebratory lunch. Food was great and we had quite a bit to drink and played cards. Lunchtime drinking is very dangerous!

My Mum & Dad came round this evening for dinner. K did roast beef with mounds of delicious vegetables and, after dinner, we taught Mum & Dad how to play Texas Hold 'Em. That's not strictly true, actually K taught us all how to play. She was definitely sharking. Dad was very interested to see how his eBay auctions were getting on as the 'Pixie' suit and motorcycle jacket were both proving to be very popular.

I'm knackered now - I need to go back to work for a rest.

Imps Prediction League Update

Finally some points! At least for one of us. Well done John who predicted 2-2 so scores 5 points from the Derby match (which was 1-1 at 90 minutes). So John's top of the league - everyone else is joint last.

Bloody Terrific

It was time to give blood again yesterday. I'll do anything for a cup of tea and a free biscuit. It's my 19th donation so I've got quite a way to go before I catch up with Roy who does our electrical work - he was in the Echo this week, click here to read about his admirable efforts.

One thing I won't be doing again is playing footie on the same night that I donate. I was knackered after about 10 minutes - I think it must have been the lack of oxygen.

Imps Prediction League 2008/09

We're off to a flying start with the Prediction League. Thirteen competitors and not one point between us after the first match. No-one predicted a Rotherham win.

Everyone has now put in a score for the Derby match so I can reveal all the predictions. Click here to visit the Prediction League pages on Google Docs.

Flick to Kick

I have spent the afternoon selling my youth.

All of my Subbuteo stuff has been listed on eBay - 21 lots in all.

If you know anyone that would like to play football in their living room then please direct them here.

Big Fat Liars

We went to Ted and Yvette's last night for a takeaway curry and some board games - and wine and beer obviously!

Their girls were still up when we got there so we learnt what a cow says, and what a snake says, and what a piggy says etc. They know them all.

After a mammoth curry (Lamb Patra, v nice), Gareth and Hels joined us and we played a game called Balderdash. Those of you as old as me will understand what I mean when I say it's a bit like Call My Bluff - but without Fwank Muir.

It's all about trying to lie convincingly and Gareth and I were embarrassingly good at it! Don't know what that says about us but there you go. Gareth won in the end, it was good fun.

Pete's Birthday

It's Pete's birthday today and we nipped round to Dore Ave for a piece of cake and quick drink.

Ginny was there with her mum & dad, Martin & Charlotte, Lesley Ann, P&P and me and K.

Penny had got Pete a Doctor Who cake which was very blue. And very tasty.

Meet The Neighbours

We were invited round to our neighbour's house last night for a barbecue party. We hadn't met Tim & Julie properly before so it was nice to have a chance to chat to them.

There were about 30 people there and we didn't think we'd know anyone - always a bit daunting. However, the curse of the small town took over and we met: 1. someone I used to play football with; 2. someone who knows my mum & dad through the motor trade; 3. the sister of someone I was at school with; 4. a woman who grew up in the Bucks village where K's grandparents ran the post office; 5. someone who knew my mum from primary school; and, best of all, 6. Julie is my wife's, brother's, wife's, mother's, cousin's, son's, wife.

Great food, great chat. What more can you ask for?

Gainsborough Trinity 0 - Imps 2

Nick and I took a trip to Gainsborough today for another Lincoln friendly. We started the afternoon with a full EB in a little cafe and then followed that up with a pint of real ale in the Seven Jolly Brewers (thanks for the tip Ross).

It was a boiling hot day and this might have been the reason for the slow start to the game. It may also have been the reason why the non-league side wilted in the second half and allowed Lincoln to sneak in with two goals (Gary King and Lee Frecklington).

It wasn't a great game but it was a good afternoon out and Lincoln completed their pre-season schedule with a complete set of wins.

Rustons v Nocton, revenge is sweet!

It was the return match between Rustons and Nocton this afternoon (click here to read about the previous match). We lost badly in Nocton which made us more motivated to win.

Pat was unavailable so Charmo was captain for the first time. We fielded first on a boiling hot day on the West Common. Hicko opened the bowling and was really ripping them down, he ended up with three wickets but Capt. Charman was the bowling hero with 5/16. They were bowled out for 94.

With a modest target of just 95 to win, we passed the winning post with 6 wickets and about 15 overs to spare. So a maximum 20 points for Rustons sees us climb two places to fourth in the table.

Penny & Philip's Ruby Wedding Anniversary

Penny & Philip celebrated 40 years of marriage yesterday with a party at Hykeham Memorial Hall. The three kids and their partners all had a hand in organising the event and I think everyone enjoyed themselves so it must have been a success.

K & I got to the memorial hall at about 5:00pm. All the main setting up had been done already so it was only a matter of fiddling around the edges and being there to direct the mobile bar people. Martin, Charlotte, Peter and Ginny arrived soon after 6pm with Penny & Philip not far behind.

The party started at 7:30pm and P&P were greeting their guests outside the hall. It was a ferociously hot day so being outside was a wise move. There were about 65 guests in total and by soon after eight they were just about all there so we opened the buffet. The food was great and lots of people thought that we'd hired professional caterers - but it was all the work of Penny, Keren, Ginny, Charlotte and Martin.

At 9pm K announced that we would be starting the entertainment. This part of the evening was a surprise to most of the guests. P&P knew that we'd be putting something on but I think they were surprised by the extent of the 'show'. Keren led the proceedings by telling the story of how P&P met, courted, got engaged, married and had a family. This story was interspersed by songs performed by 'Hickertons at Heart' - a band formed specially for the occasion. It featured Martin on lead guitar, Pete on bass guitar, Charlotte and me on lead vocals and Keren and Ginny on backing vocals. We did Bachelor Boy, Heartbeat, I Wanna Hold Your Hand, The Young Ones, Walking Back To Happiness, Congratulations and Lady In Red. All in all in went down pretty well, there were no serious cock-ups, no falling out and we were nearly in tune for most of the time. We'd had about 8 or 10 practise sessions so it had been a lot of work but it was fun in the end. My mum and dad didn't even know I could sing!

Once the performance was out of the way we felt able to join in with the fun so quite a few beers were sunk before we had to tidy up. Lots of people pitched in to help with the clean up (thanks mum & dad and Alwyne and Pauline) so it got done quickly. The guy that runs the bar said he'd never seen so many people helping to tidy up and nobody had ever helped him. He needs to do more Christian parties!

After the party, P&G and K&I went back to M&C's for an after show party. More beer was consumed and left overs were eaten. It was a great way to wind down after the (sometimes stressful) organising and practise that we'd all worked hard at.

I think Penny and Philip enjoyed their party and we all look forward to another one in 10 years time!

Dinner in Market Rasen

It was off to Market Rasen last night for dinner with Mark & Lydia. Mark cooked roast lamb followed by a fruit crumble. They were both delicious.

Great evening as always with lots of chat and laughs.

Weekend in Harrogate

K and I travelled up to Yorkshire this weekend to meet up with Richard, Jen and Ross at Richard's house in Harrogate.

K had meetings organised in Wakefield on Friday morning so I travelled up by train to meet her. I started the day with a full EB at Wetherspoon's in Lincoln before catching my train. My journey took me from Lincoln, change at Doncaster, change at Wakefield Westgate, change at Wakefield Kirkgate, to Normanton where Keren met me.

Our first stop was Nostell Priory which is a National Trust property near Normanton. It's a beautiful country house (which was formerly a priory, hence the name) and we enjoyed looking around and then going for a walk around the grounds. Of course we also felt obliged to have a cuppa and sample the delicious cakes that NT properties always seem to have on offer. When we got back to the car there was a note on it from someone who had witnessed another car hit ours. They had scraped and cracked the paint on the rear bumper. K rang the kind person who had left the note and they told us that after our car had been hit, the culprit drove to the other end of the car park before getting out to check their own car - so they knew they'd done it. W@nk3r.

After Nostell we nipped up the A1 and arrived at Richard and Jen's at about 6:30pm. Rich had prepared a delicious Mexican meal full of chilis and other spices. After filling our bellies we headed off to their local pub to sample the ales on offer. Ross had arrived by this time so we were quickly forming a mini Humberside reunion. How many do you need for a reunion?

We got up late on Saturday and took the train from Harrogate to Bradford (change at Leeds just in case you're taking notes). There was a continental market on in the shopping area and a classic car show in front of the town hall. The sun was shining and it was a very pleasant place to be. Bradford doesn't have a great reputation as a tourist destination but I enjoyed my first experience of it. After we'd looked round the cars we went to the National Media Museum (formerly the National Museum of Photography, Film and Television). I'd recommend a visit for kids and adults alike. It's a very interesting place to look around. I particularly like their photo galleries - there were some great atmospheric shots of some classic Hollywood movie stars.

Of course, you can't visit Bradford without having a curry and so, after a couple of pints, we headed off to a restuarant that Richard recommended. It was unlicensed so you had to take your own beer and wine in with you. That's great as far as I'm concerned as it makes it super cheap. We had loads of good food (more than even I could manage) and it was only £10 each. Bargain!

We got the train back to Harrogate at about 10pm. When we got back to the house it was time for some SingStar action. I was almost falling asleep but SingStar always perks me up and we all had a go. Ross, you are a terrible singer!

Sunday morning and Rich prepared some bacon and egg butties for breakfast - they went down very well too. There was just time for him to show me his model railway layout before we nipped to Jen's Dad's house to see his new kittens and then home.

A great weekend. Thanks for the invite and look forward to seeing you all in Lincoln in September.

Mighty Mighty Imps

Went to watch Lincoln last night and, for once, the Imps really were mighty.

How about this for a scoreline:- Lincoln City 3, Aston Villa 1

It wasn't some team of Villa youth players either, check out the starting line-up on the official Aston Villa site.

We went one down after just four minutes when John Carew (70 caps for Norway) exploited some comedy defending by Lincoln. It's a new look defence and it showed - they looked like they'd never met each other before! For the rest of the first half they withstood a lot of Villa pressure and did well to go in just one down. Nevertheless, the predictions were all about just how many more Villa would score.

The second half was a revelation. In the 53rd minute Stefan Oakes sent a free-kick on to the head of János Kovács who nodded it in. Great to see two of the new signings having such an immediate impact. Oakes' passing was super accurate, he's going to be a revelation in League Two. Peter Jackson reckons he can "peel carrots with his left foot".

On 73 minutes, an Oakes corner was met by the head of Lennel John-Lewis and Lincoln were in the lead! Two minutes later and the rout was complete as Ben Wright chased down a long ball and calmly slotted it past the keeper.

Of the new signings, Kovács, Oakes, Burch and Sinclair all stood out. Brown looked OK and only Graham failed to really get hold of the game. Although he was being marked by Zat Knight and Wilfred Bouma (2 England caps and 35 Holland caps respectively) so we should give him the benefit of the doubt.

Can't wait for the season to start now.

BBQ at the Sheps

It was to Shep Senior's last night for a barbecue party. Luckily the weather played ball and we had some sunshine. Just to cover all angles, Dad had constructed a temporary extension to the summer house - that meant that we could seat everyone (13 of us) in the dry.

In attendance were Lou & Pat, Rachel, the Brothwells, the Beans, the Costalls, me & K and of course Ma and Pa Shepherd.

Dad did a great job of the meat and Mum provided all the accompaniments. We were treated to Merv's singing, Rick's beer can football skills and Mick's talents as a waiter. The summer house was getting a bit rowdy as the beer and wine flowed so the 'kids' (youngest 33) adjourned to the kitchen. Where all the best parties take place.

Fish, chips and mushy (not garden) peas

Mark and Naomi came round for a chippy lunch today. It felt very decadent to be eating so much fat in the middle of the day!

We'd been meaning to invide M&N around for a while but, as they are in Cambridge and we're in Lincoln, it's not so simple. The weekend of Gareth and Helen's wedding was the perfect opportunity.

K was suffering from the night before so a takeaway lunch was decided upon. I was on my way back from Woodhall having been to collect the car when I got the call with the order. One fish, chips and peas; pie, chips and beans twice; and a chip butty. Fish Queen was duly visited and this feast was procured. I think it went down very well and I can heartily recommend a load of stodge as a hangover cure.

We had a good old chinwag after lunch and it was a very nice way to spend a Saturday afternoon. Chip, chip, hooray!

Helen & Gareth's Wedding

It was Helen and Gareth's wedding yesterday. We picked up the Felthams at about 12:15pm and headed off to Bassingham for the ceremony. It's a nice looking church in the middle of the village and the other guests were arriving as we got there. There was a drop of rain in the air but nothing too heavy although the sky didn't look promising.

We moved inside and were greeted by Hicko the usher. We couldn't work out if we should sit on the bride's side or groom's side. We plumped for bride as that was where M&G, T&Y, P&S and N&A were also sitting (sorry Gareth!).

As we were sat in the church we could hear the rain getting heavier. By the time the bride arrived it was really drumming against the roof. Hels and her bridesmaids (Keeley and Charlotte) must have been carefully umbrella'd from the car though as they didn't look like they'd been rained on. At this point it would be traditional for me to describe the dress - it was white... I think. See K for further details. On the other hand, I can remember that Gareth and many of his work colleagues were wearing their No1 uniforms complete with swords.

The vicar started by asking Gareth if he would take Helen to be his husband. Weddings are scary enough for the groom without ending up with a husband! Luckily he spotted the mistake and started again. At the point where the vicar asked the congregation if anyone knew of a reason why G&H shouldn't wed; the heavens really opened. The drumming on the roof became noticeably louder and there was general laughter from the assembled masses. The vicar decided that we wouldn't consider that to be some sort of sign and carried on.

The rest of the ceremony went smoothly and Mr & Mrs B left the church together to be greeted by an RAF guard of honour with swords raised. Unfortunately it was still raining so they quickly came back inside for more photos. We hung around for a little while and then headed off to Woodhall Spa via Bassingham Spar.

It's a 30 minute drive to the Petwood Hotel and it was still chucking it down when we arrived. We were greeted with free Pimms, champagne or orange juice with crisps and crudités to nibble on. More photos were then taken in front of the Petwood's impressive fireplace before the bride and groom took advantage of a lull in the rain to have some pictures done outside.

I'm not sure what time dinner was served. You just kind of go when you are told but it was probably about 4pm. All the tables were named after TV cop shows and we were on CHiPs with Becky & Dave, Bob & Bev and Mark, Mem, Leo & Alex. We had a fish starter followed by roast beef and then a three-part desert consisting of individual lemon, strawberry and chocolate mousses.

The speeches were in the traditional position at the end of the meal and they were very good. Helen's Dad, Gareth and Owen (the best man) all put in top performances and were very funny. I even got a mention in Owen's speech as an example of how many different and lengthy familial connections were in the room. I forget exactly but I think he told Helen that I was her husband's, 2nd cousin's, husband's, sister's, husband. That's Lincolnshire for you!

G&H had asked me to organise a speeches sweepstake so I had been round the tables handing out entry sheets and explaining the concept to everyone. Knowing Gareth and Owen, I had a feeling that they wouldn't be brief so I guessed 44 minutes and won the pot on our table. The actual time was 48 minutes and 1 second - Jon guessed 47:59 but didn't win as someone else on his table chose 48:00. He was gutted!

The evening guests started arriving after the speeches and the room was turned around with space made for the dance floor. It had finally stopped raining by this time and it was quite a warm evening so we were able to go out on to the terrace for a drink. Well, I was out on the terrace - I think K spent a lot of her time on the dance floor. As a result of this, she was able to get a close up view of Pete & Ginny's dancing - they have a style that can only be described as enthusiastic.

More food was brought out later on - despite being stuffed from lunch I still couldn't resist the fine selection of pork and pastry based products, along with sandwiches and Indian snacks. I kept grabbing a plateful only to have it plundered by all and sundry so I had to go back for more - well that's how I remember it anyway.

Much eating, drinking, dancing, chatting and laughter later - it was time to depart. Nick had organised a minibus for N&A, P&G, P&S, C&E, T&Y, P&D, J and us. There was much drunkenness on the bus and someone decided it would be a good idea to have a sing-along. The driver was treated to a 40 minute serenade of themes from kids TV shows. This is one of my specialist subjects so I was more than happy and joined in with gusto.

It was a great day and night and we both wish Helen and Gareth every happiness for their future together. Thanks guys!

Nocton v Rustons

I was asked to turn out for Ruston's yesterday as they were short of players. It was nice to play cricket again after such a long break although I looked like the part-timer I am - I couldn't find any of my kit.

I think the opposing batsmen had me marked as the weak link in the team as their shots kept finding my bit of the field with alarming regularity. When I say "field", think "ploughed" - it's a pretty awful ground which is far from level and covered in mole hills and other ankle breakers.

It was raining when Charmo and I got there and didn't look like stopping. We missed the proper start time of 2pm and finally got going with a 32 over game nearer three. We won the toss and Pat decided to put them in with the hope that we could take advantage of the dampness but it would be drier by the time it was our turn to bat.

They had a slow start but let loose in the last 6-8 overs and ended on 103/9. Charmo and Nibbler each took a couple of wickets - Charmo also took two catches. I was getting plenty of action and the bumpy pitch was making it very difficult to grab a bouncing ball but I don't think I cost us any runs so all was OK.

The heavens opened 8 balls before the end of Nocton's innings so we took an early tea and waited it out. After about 30 minutes we were able to restart and they finished off their innings before taking to the field. Our plan of batting on a dry pitch had gone out of the window and everyone was finding it difficult. Pat was out early on, Phil and Kev both picked up golden ducks, Nibbler and Paul stuck around for a while but runs were hard to come by. Charmo ended up top scorer with something in the mid-twenties. We were losing wickets quickly and by the time number 8 and 9 were at the crease (Duncan and Alex) it looked like we might be bowled out. However, they both stuck to the task and plugged away - Alex was eventually caught out with just two balls remaining. The batsmen had crossed so I ended up as non-striker for two dot balls. Our final total was 67/8.

It was a good afternoon but it was spoiled a bit by the weather and the pitch but, as they say, they are the same for both sides so musn't blame them.

Dinner with Tim & Dawn

Tim and Dawn came round to 114 for dinner last night. It was the first time we'd had dinner on our new dining table (an eBay bargain!) but it was successful road test.

K cooked pakoras for starter and followed it with a chicken jalfrezi with rice, naans and a couple of side dishes. I treated everyone with an ice cream cake courtesy of Nigella. I don't cook very often but this went down well so maybe I should do it more regularly. Look out Kezza!

We had a really good night with T&D and they bought us a housewarming gift of a standard rose bush which will look great.

Ali's Leaving Party

It was Ali's leaving party last night. She'd hired the function room at the Duke William and booked someone to do karaoke.

It was brilliant - I was well up for it and "entertained" the crowd with; Don't Stop Me Now (Queen), Strong (Robbie Williams), Disco 2000 (Pulp), Baggy Trousers (Madness), Amarillo (Tony Christie), It's Not Unusual (Tom Jones), She's Electric (Oasis) and This Love (Maroon 5). The last of these was a duet with my wife who was also getting into into it (see pic).

The party was great fun. I hope Ali enjoyed it and wasn't too hung over as she had to move house the next morning.

Jon's 30th Birthday Garden Party

Yesterday, it was the party to mark Jon's last day in his twenties. K and I walked to Skellingthorpe via The Monson Arms (well, you've got to try them all once). As we walked up Skelly Road, K came to the aid of a little girl who'd fallen off her bike and hurt her shoulder - I've married Florence Nightingale!

The party was in full swing by the time we got there. There was a croquet pitch (court / lawn / green ?) marked out and a barbecue set up for people to throw sausages on whenever they wanted. Jon had a couple of marquees housing the music and the food and everyone was sprawled on the grass drinking and chatting. The other part of the garden was a temporary campsite so, with no travel issues, there was no reason to not indulge!

There were many people in fancy dress so we were graced with Batman, Superman, the Incredible Hulk, Iron Man, a sumo wrestler, a couple of WAGS, several gringos, sundry pirates, Robin Hood and a Mexican 007. Typical night out in Skelly then.

As the beer and wine flowed a round of shoe golf was suggested. For those of you unfamiliar with this game - it involves flipping your shoe off the end of your foot towards a nominated post or tree. Martin is the creator of the game and he duly won the Skellingthorpe Open. Although, at the end of the day, shoe golf was the winner. It's a demonstration sport at the Beijing Olympics.

There was time for a few rounds of tequila cruda then the bottle was polished off with some riddlin' action. The tequila was followed by some Pimms riddlin' - how civilised! Once it was properly dark, Jon supervised the ceremonial lighting of the bonfire. It was carefully placed beneath a number of large overhanging trees. Apparently it was the Health and Safety Officer's day off but massed bush fires were avoided so all was well.

Shared a taxi home with a very drunk wag, hulk and iron man. Very funny evening all round. Thanks Jon and happy birthday!

Danwood Quiz VI

Tonight it was Danwood Quiz VI - I've been running quizzes for my work colleagues for 2-3 years and this was the latest installment.

There were 17 teams of four and our venue was the Royal Naval Association Club in Lincoln. It was a good room with all the facilities that we needed and cheap beer so we'll probably use it again.

I did rounds on subjects as diverse as politics, chocolate and WAGS - as well as a picture round and couple of music rounds. Our eventual winners were Simon, Lizzie and Adam from Management Accounts.

K was my glamourous assistant and did all the marking for me. I think everyone enjoyed it so there should be Danwood Quiz VII before the end of the year.

Dinner with Nick & Amy

Last night we were over at Nick & Amy's for dinner. They'd cooked us a superb meal of home-made pate, followed by coq au reisling. We both really enjoyed it.

After dinner we had a go on the Wii - we played baseball (I'm awful), bowling, golf, tennis and then Rayman Raving Rabbids which is a puzzle game featuring buck-toothed rabbits. My arm still aches from trying to fling one as far as I could. Nick was the master of the drumming game - he obviously has natural rhythm.

Dougie Lampkin vs Goodwood House

For all the petrolheads out there.

Best Name Ever

Dogs that are smarter than Jon

In the interests of scientific advancement, it's important that we have a definitive list of which dogs really are smarter than Jon.

Please click here to submit your suggestion(s).

Imps Fixtures

The fixture list is out for 2008/09. Click here to view Lincoln's fixtures.

Big G's Stag

Bristol didn't know what had hit it. Pics can be viewed by clicking here.

Lee Thorpe...

...has broken his arm in stupid accident click here.

Euro 2008 Sweepstake

This is the big draw for the Euro 2008 sweepstake.



We have a £16 kitty which will be split thus:

• £7 for the winner
• £4 for the runner-up
• £2 for each losing semi-finalist
• £1 for the team that lets in most goals in the group stages (if two or more teams concede the same amount then the one that scores fewer or fewest goals is the winner, if it's still a tie then you can fight over it)

More Dogging

We celebrated Nick and Amy's 30th birthdays yesterday with a trip to Nottingham Greyhound Stadium.

We started in Revolution in Lincoln at about 2pm. They had reserved a private area and, as well as Nick & Amy, there was Mark & Naomi, Catherine (Amy's sister) and her partner (husband?) Martin, and me. At about four we were joined by Martin H and Jon. At five o'clock we headed to Unity Square to meet the bus that Nick had booked - there we met Will and Dean.

The bus took us to Hykeham first where we were picked up K, Lottie, Helen & Gareth, Phil and Ted & Yvette. So this merry band headed to Nottingham. On the way, I did the draw for the Euro 2008 sweepstake (see separate post to see who got what).

When we got to Nottingham we were met by Mark H who had been at Trent Bridge watching England thump the Kiwis. There was about 50 minutes before the first race of the evening so there was time to stock up on pie and chips and suss out the racecard. We had some novice doggers so I shared what little knowledge I have so that the mass of data started to make sense.

For each race, the on track tipster, known as The Hound, gives his tip on who he thinks will finish 1st, 2nd and 3rd. I decided to follow his tips on every race in a scientific experiment that would determine if there was yet another dog who was smarter than Jon. The Hound started badly with no wins from the first two races but Jon won nothing either so it was all square. On the other hand, Mark H was off to a flyer - his tactic was to bet on the dog with the longest odds. He got it right for the first three races in a row and was about £30 up straight off.

My tactic began to pay off as The Hound's tips began to improve. Overall, he managed to pick just under half of the winners. I was betting on the dog to finish in the top 2 so I wasn't winning much but I was gradually getting ahead and by race 13 I was three quid up. I won't be giving up work just yet but it has proved under scientific conditions that a two-dimensional cartoon dog is smarter than Jon.

In the last race (race 14), I decided to stop the experiment and bet on a dog called Baggie Babe (Baggy being the name of our cat), it was one of the favourites and I put £15 to win with a bookie called MS Racing. I got 5/2 so would have collected about £50 if it had won. It finished fourth. Nuts.

Bus took us home and Martin led the bawdy singing on the bus. We enjoyed many lovely old hymns including "I want to be a Harrows cricketer", "We're the left side of the bus" and "Beastiality's Best". The bus driver kindly did several drops around town so we all got home easily. It was a top day and night out. Thanks Nick and Amy and Happy Birthday.

Bowling mania

I was ten pin bowling tonight with colleagues from work, first time I've been for about three years. I think the layoff must have done me good as I scored 155 in the first game, the practise then started to damage me as the second game was only a 115. I thought a combined score of 270 might be enough to win it but unfortunately I got beat by one point... by a girl. It didn't bother me... much.

Noo Hoose

It's taken two months but I've finally got round to putting some photos on t'internet. That's the good news. The bad news is that the photos are a bit pants! It's not really bright enough, the house is a mess, we haven't finished furnishing it and I'm using my phone camera. Apart from that they are great.

Anyway, click here to have a look.

Predictions League Final Scores

Sorry it's taken so long but I've finally got round to updating the league with the final standings.
Congratulations to Nick who clinches the title just one point ahead of Will and two ahead of Ted.

Down at the bottom it's Pete, Keren and Lou.

JJ, Mark H, me, Des and Ted all scored perfect zeros in the Premier League - Ted also had the only perfect score in the Championship. My four points was the best score in League One and I also had the best in League Two with eight.

Click here for the full tables.

Camping in Cambs

Just got back from a weekend camping with Jo & Tony in Comberton (near Cambridge). Got there late on Friday night (after I'd finished my month end stuff) - had a barbie and a few bevvies.

After a leisurely breakfast on Saturday, we went to Wimpole Hall where, apart from the hall itself, there are some beautiful gardens and a farm featuring many rare breeds. In the evening we adjourned to the local pub for a hearty repast.

On Sunday, after another pork-based breakfast (good work TB), we visited Wicken Fen nature reserve where we did a 3 mile walk despite the threatening weather.

The weekend was a lorra lorra fun. Photos are online, click here.

Lincoln Beer Festival

Last night we visited the Lincoln Beer Festival at the Drill Hall.

Mark & Lydia picked us up and we met, Nick, Amy and Jon inside. As usual, we managed to go on the night when they were running out of beer. However, there were still over 20 different ales on offer. They had run out of cider and perry and around 50 other ales.

Anyway, 20 beers is more than enough for one night and we all tucked in! Well, nearly all - Lydia was driving and K stuck to the wine as usual. There was some good ale, some good music, a couple of good hog baps and lots of very good banter.

Ted's 30th and Clint's 35th birthdays

It was barbecue-tastic yesterday as we descended on McGinn towers for a double celebration. Not only was it (nearly) Ted's 30th birthday but it was (just past) Clint's 35th.

The guests arrived for a lunchtime barbie cooked by Ted. There was a plentiful supply of beer and wine and the weather was helping. K and I walked round as the McGinns only live five minutes away.

At 3pm, those that were interested nipped inside to watch the FA Cup final on the big projector telly (Portsmount beat Cardiff one-nil).

It was an excellent afternoon and I think the lads both had a good birthday.

Paul Derry's 30th

Another weekend and another 30th birthday party in Cambridge! This time it was Des' turn. About 30 or so people had been invited to Parker's Piece (an open grassy park) in Cambridge for some picnic action.

K & I drove down at lunchtime on Saturday with all our camping gear. We met Clint & Emma and Martin & Charlotte in a campsite in Cherry Hinton (just outside the city). It was a nice place with lots of small enclosed areas rather than a big open field.

After pitching the tent, we taxied into Cambridge and met up with the sizeable party. The sun was shining and so the park was very busy with picnickers, footballers, cricketers, frisbeeists and general sun lovers.

As afternoon turned into evening, we moved ourselves to a pub called The Bakers. Paul had reserved some space inside but most people gravitated towards the terrace at the back. Lots more beer was consumed, drinking games were suggested and everyone went home well-oiled. One reveller had to ask the taxi driver to pull over so he could hurl in the gutter, but he shall remain nameless. Suffice to say, he'd have been punching his leg in embarassment.

On Sunday morning, the campers awoke to more hot sun and some thick heads. However, we discovered the magical properties of Barr's Irn-Bru as a hangover cure and soon got going. A game of boules was the order of the day (won by Martin, I think) before decamping and heading home.

Another top birthday weekend - thanks to Des and Daisy.

Harrison's 30th

Despite being hardcore rock star (see picture) - Mr Harrison's 30th birthday celebration was distinctly low key.

Falling (as it did) on a Wednesday, it clashed with the Harrows quiz night - an immovable feast if ever there was one! So Mark decided to locate his soiree at Hicko towers and make it an early evening affair.

Consequently, Mark, Phil, Martin & Charlotte, Nick & Amy and Keren & me all enjoyed crisps, nuts, beer and banter on the Hicko's patio. We were briefly joined by some neighbour who climbed over the back fence with her own glass of wine (she didn't spill a drop!).

Mark had brought along an impressive selection of Asda's finest snack foods and I was particularly impressed with the fusion of scotch eggs and curry. It's a landmark moment in modern haute cuisine!

Goldsy's 30th

May bank holiday weekend was also Mark's big birthday weekend. He was having a party near Cambridge and K & I were kindly invited.

We drove down on Sunday lunchtime and checked into a Travelodge just SW of Cambridge. We met Gareth & Helen there and Gareth drove us ten minutes up the road to the village of Fulbourn. Mark had taken over half of The White Hart for the afternoon and evening. It was warm day so many people were spilling out of the pub into the garden and this is where we set up base camp. All the usual gang were there except for Emma - Joel wasn't very well so she was looking after him, Clint nipped in for an hour but then went home to help.

Mark made a short speech where he thanked everyone for coming and said some very nice things about Naomi and all the hard work she'd put into organising the day. There was an big buffet with a huge pile of pork pies at Mark's special request. As it was his birthday, I thought I'd honour his wishes by eating as many of them as I could!

We got a taxi back to the Travelodge at about midnight - the party was still going strong, not sure what time they were kicked out. On Monday morning, K & I and G & H visited the "World Famous" Comfort Cafe for breakfast. I'm not sure that it is really as famous as it proclaims but they certainly know how to fry pig meat and all the trimmings. K & I took the country way home with the roof down all the way - the breeze meant we didn't realise how hot the sun was and we both got sunburnt but that didn't stop it being a great weekend.

Thanks Mark & Naomi. Looking forward to the 40th.

Lincoln 2 - 4 Wrexham

Lincoln ended their season with a typically poor defensive display. Despite Wrexham already being relegated out of the Football League, they still managed to breach the Imps' defense four times!

Highlight of the afternoon came before the match when the following message popped up on the scoreboard. "HAPPY BIRTHDAY GOLDSY - PUNCH YOUR LEG FOR THE IMPS" Well done Nick!

Bert's Birthday Party

It was Bert Green's birthday party on Sunday. JJ and Michele had hired Harmston Memorial Hall and invited about 20 five year olds.

Very wisely, they had also hired a children's entertainer to keep them all occupied! He did some magic and games and then kept them all busy with a kids disco. Bert led the world's slowest conga line - it was really funny to watch as they were hardly moving!

There was some great party food on offer and no tears, no tantrums, no injuries and no vomit - that sounds like a successful day!

Emma and Steve's 35th birthdays

This weekend saw both Emma and Steve turn 35. A reason for a party if ever one were needed. Steve offered his house as the venue and the Walkers provided the catering.

The theme for the night was cocktails and Steve and Sally had been busy preparing a number of deadly jugs of multi-coloured concoctions.

As they came round filling our glasses we had to guess the name, origin and ingredients of each. Obviously this was done under strict scientific conditions with no opportunity for cheating or collusion. Consequently I'm very proud to announce that Ross, Georgi, myself and Mrs Shep were the eventual winners with a score of something out of something bigger (the details are hazy).

The food came in the form or Clint's world famous chilli - it was already hot before someone accidentally dropped in a large portion of chilli flakes. After that, only me and my famous asbestos gob were still tucking in.

Not sure whether it was the chilli, the cocktails or the fact that he'd been on the pop since about 4pm but Nick was wobbling very early on in the evening. Steve B eventually gave him a lift home, this was much to Amy's relief as it didn't look like he'd be able to manage the walk.

Excellent party - thanks guys!

New House!

Oh my god, we've bought a new house. It was a bargain but we're still broke from the wedding and the honeymoon. It's come along about 4 months early but it was too good to miss.

Photos available soon.

First I was afraid, I was petrified....

Last night, K & I were at Ali's house for a Singstar party. She'd invited Matt & Deb, Beth and Fergus and we all had our singing trousers on.

Ali had prepared a monumental feast based around the culinary cornerstones of chilli and meringue (although not together) and the beer and wine were flowing freely.

There was some great singing (mainly Ali) and even more awful singing (you know who you are) but everyone was up and enjoying it. K and I ducked out at about midnight but I learnt on Tuesday that the party was still going at 5am!

Rob Lea

Sad day today. I went to the funeral of a friend from school - Rob Lea passed away due to an inoperable brain tumour. An event like that makes you feel very old. Mark, Darren, JJ, Steve, Clint, Emma, Mandy and Georgi were all there.

I hadn't seen Rob for three or four years but we were very good friends in the last couple of years of school and the years immediately following.

We all reminisced about school and ended up making one another smile with our varied memories of Rob - he was a fun guy to be around so there were lots of good stories.

Robert Lea 1972-2008 R.I.P.

Going to the Dogs

Last night we had an office outing to the dogs. A coach had been booked which picked us up from the office at about 6:30pm. An hour and a bit later we were dropped off at Nottingham Greyhound Stadium. Beth & Jon and Alison were all in the party, as well as Nick, James & Mikey and Rachel and Jules.

Racing was already underway by the time we got there but there were 14 races on the card and they'd only got up to race three so we hadn't missed much.

We'd got a good deal on group tickets. It was £10 each for entry, race card, pie and peas, a bottle of grog and three free combination bets. I was helping out those who were unfamiliar with how to bet. I don't know if this affected my own choices but I was a disaster. I don't think I picked one winner in the first ten races. My betting budget was shrinking at an alarming rate. Then on the last race I put everything I had left on number five to win - it came in! I won back everything I had lost plus about two quid - result!

The bus dropped us back at the office at about midnight and I wobbled home on me bike.

Wedding Photos Now Online!

Many thanks to all the people who have sent us their photos of our wedding. We now have over 2000 and we've had to buy a new 500gb hard drive to cope with them all!

Despite this we still want more, so if you haven't sent us yours then please do - we'd really appreciate it.

A selection of the best photos are now available online by clicking here

The Honeymoon

No photos yet but I'll post them when I get around to it. Our honeymoon was pretty fantastic. We started off with one night at the White Heather and then travelled down to London by train (1st class of course!) where we had three nights in the Royal Horseguards Hotel. This hotel was specially chosen by me as it is the only one overlooking the Thames opposite the London Eye.

On the first night in London, I had booked tickets for the ballet (la di da!) so, after an early dinner, we walked to Sadler's Wells for a performance of the Nutcracker. It was the first time either of us had been to a professional ballet and we both loved it. Tchaikovsky's score was very memorable and we were constantly humming the tunes for a couple of days afterwards.

The next day (New Year's Eve), we walked up the river past the Houses of Parliament and Westminster Abbey to the Tate Britain (more culture!). After a couple of hours there, we caught the Tate Boat which takes you down the river to the Tate Modern where we were able to laugh at all the modern art. It was interesting to see the Hirsts and Emins straight after the Constables and Canalettos and I'm sure I know who has the most talent. We then walked back along the South bank to the Eye but couldn't go on as they were closing early to rig it for the big party that evening.

Later on we headed out again and walked through Leicester Square to Shaftesbury Avenue. The crowds were really starting to build and it was a good atmosphere. Our destination was an Indonesian restaurant called Bali Bali - Keren hadn't had any Indonesian food since leaving London and she missed it - it was busy and lively and the food was tasty so we had a good meal.

We headed for a pub that I knew on Pall Mall but it was closed; as it turned out that was probably a blessing in disguise. We cut through to The Mall and asked a motorcycle cop whether there were any access restrictions on our route back to the hotel. He was friendly and helpful and we set off through St. James's Park towards Parliament Square. There were quite a few people in the park but we were still shocked to see the number of people in Parliament Square. The crowd was pushing through a bottleneck caused by some temporary barriers - it was shoulder-to-shoulder and, as we filed slowly past, I asked a policeman whether we would be able to get back to Whitehall Court for midnight (where our hotel was) he was incredibly unhelpful and told us we had no chance. This was obviously upsetting and surprising as it was only 10:30pm, when we finally got through the barrier and into the square the crowd opened up a bit; there were still a lot of people but no longer a crush. There were three police officers nearby and I decided to try to get some help. I told them that their colleague had told us it would be impossible to get to our hotel before midnight and that it was our honeymoon and that my wife was claustrophobic (at which point Keren burst into Oscar-winning tears!). They were much more helpful and assured us that Whitehall itself was not too crowded and we shouldn't have a problem - I was hoping for a police escort but an assurance was OK. They were right and we made it back to the hotel soon after 11pm.

From our balcony we could survey the crowds on Victoria Embankment it was really packed and there was music playing. It was a party atmosphere but we were pleased to have our own private viewpoint. The crowd counted down to midnight and, when Big Ben struck twelve, the fireworks started. They were incredible and went on for about ten minutes, the windows to our room were vibrating with every explosion and, just when you thought they'd reach a final crescendo, they would carry on to something bigger. The fireworks were being launched from boats and also from the wheel itself which made for an incredible display. I'd recommend a visit but get a hotel room and stay there!

On New Year's Day (not hung-over for a change) we headed up to the Natural History Museum for the Shell Wildlife Photographer of the Year exhibition. It's something we've been to for the last three years and the awesome photos are well worth a look. Afterwards we took the tube to Camden Lock and had a walk around the hippy market there. We had some curry from a street vendor and just chilled for the rest of the afternoon. I wanted to visit a pub I knew in Pimlico which has a micro-brewery in the basement - after a tube journey and a ten minute walk we got there to be told that they stopped brewing about six years ago. We ordered a drink anyway then found out they were closing in ten minutes and so we had to rush them. We got a bus from Sloane Square back to Whitehall and popped into a pub near Trafalgar Square. Despite having menus and condiments on all the tables they weren't serving food so we left again. Central London pubs are mostly rubbish unless you're a tourist wanting a taste of fake Olde Englande. However, completely by accident, we found a pub called The Harp which was actually a nice place to be. They had about six cask ales on and the staff were friendly. When we asked them if they did food, they said no but told us we were welcome to bring in some takeaway if we wanted - so we did!

The next day (2nd Jan) we headed over to City Airport for our flight to Italy. In November, Air One had cancelled the direct flights that I had booked and replaced them with flights via Milan so we had a three hour stopover in Linate. On the plus side, I played the honeymoon card at check-in and got us upgraded to Business Class so we had free champagne. The view as we flew over the Alps was breathtaking but we had to share that with all the people in cattle class. We landed a little late in Rome and there was no steps available to get off the plane (welcome to Italy), then we had to wait a long time for our cases to appear so, by the time we went into the arrivals hall, we were about an hour late. I was worrying slightly as I had arranged for the hotel to send a car for us. He was still there though holding up a little sign with our name on it. We settled into a black Mercedes and were driven into the centre of Rome at warp speed. I think every driver in Italy thinks that he should be driving for Ferrari instead of Raikkonen and Massa, and they feel the need to prove it all the time. Keren and I just shut our eyes and prayed.

Our hotel was on Via Cicerone near the Vatican and it was only a five minute walk into the centre of the city. On our first day in Italy we took the Metro to the Colosseum and paid for a guided tour, it was well worth the extra expense and gave life to the amazing building. Interesting fact..... the Colosseum was only called the Colosseum from about the year 1000, before that it was known as the Flavian Amphitheatre and so Russell Crowe et al are all getting it wrong. Our guided tour also included the Palatine Hill, which is where Roman leaders from Romulus, through the Emperors, right up to Mussolini built their houses. Our tour guide was from the great Roman city of Leicester but she knew her stuff and we really enjoyed it. From the top of the hill there were fantastic views of the Circus Maximus (ancient stadium for chariot racing etc) and the Forum (the 'High Street' of ancient Rome).

On our second day in Rome we went to the Vatican for a guided tour. I've never seen a queue as long but, by being part of a tour group, we were able to skip it - result. The museums at the Vatican are enormous and there is no way you could do them justice by wandering round them alone. Having a guide means you see all the most important stuff and hear the stories that explain why it's important. The ceiling of the Sistine Chapel is obviously the most famous artwork in the museum and rightly so. It's the only place in which photography is prohibited - nothing to do with flashes damaging the art - it's because a Japanese TV network paid for the restoration in return for image rights!

On our third morning in Rome we packed our bags again and headed for the stazione to take the train to Civitavecchia - double-decker train, very exciting! The journey took about an hour and we got a taxi from the station to the dockside where we got our first view of the Costa Concordia - the ship that was to be our home for the next 12 nights. As suite passengers we had the luxury of priority boarding so our cases were checked in and we bypassed yet another queue. The suite was terrific, we had a balcony, a large bed, seating/dining area, a writing desk, a dressing room and a luxury bathroom with a jacuzzi, marble surfaces and double sinks.

The ship left port at about 7pm and we spent the afternoon and early evening finding our way around and working out what was where. It was an enormous vessel, 13 public decks, 3500 passengers and 1100 crew. There were restaurants open from breakfast through to about 1am and all the food was inclusive so you just pleased yourself. The only fixed dining time was dinner where you had a reserved table at a set time for the entire cruise. We were in Ristorante Roma at the 9pm sitting. Our neighbours were a family from the US, Rani and her daughters and son-in-law Mimi, Mytri and Gouri. Although we didn't introduce ourselves straight away (typical English reserve) we eventually got chatting and really enjoyed having dinner with them every night.

When we awoke on day two of the cruise we were in Savona, northern Italy. Being January it was a bit nippy but the sun was bright. It's only a small town (about 40 miles from Genoa) and, after breakfast in our suite, we spent the day exploring. There was a market there, we had a coffee in a pavement cafe, walked along the beach and explored the Priamar fortress which dominates the town and provides fantastic views of the mountains and coastline. We were back on the boat by about 4pm for a late lunch - this was to become the pattern for our days in port: breakfast in the room, explore the port, back on board for 4pm lunch, chill for a few hours, dinner at 9pm.

Day three was spent at sea, steaming south along Italy's western coast towards the Strait of Messina. We passed through the strait in the evening and then turned east for Greece. By the morning of day four we were in Katakolon which is a small port near Olympia (where the ancient Olympic games were staged). We had booked an excursion so it was all aboard a coach for the 40 minute journey up into the hills. Our guide (Roula) was very interesting and very proud of her country. Olympia was fascinating - the Greeks really have more history than they know what to do with and visitors can just climb around on top of the 2500 year old artifacts.

On our fifth day we arrived in Athens - more accurately we arrived in Piraeus which is the port serving Athens. It's at the end of the Athens metro system so it was fairly easy (and very cheap) to get into the centre of the city. We walked up to the Parthenon from where there are fantastic views of the whole basin in which Athens sits. It's a huge sprawling city with a few hills poking up through the sea of white buildings. Although the great historical monuments were worth a visit, I was a bit disappointed with Athens. It's very dirty and there is graffiti literally everywhere. It just looks a mess.

The next day we were in Izmir, Turkey. Where Athens had been a disappointment, Izmir exceeded expectations. It was very clean, the people were friendly and the promenade was broad and attractive. We walked into town and were struck by something very surprising - in a 30 minute walk we counted no less than 20 different bridal shops. There were wedding dresses everywhere - even in the bazaar! Izmir must be centre of the Turkish wedding industry. The bazaar was eveything the name suggests - a maze of tiny streets with hundreds of stalls crowded together selling everything you could want, and quite a lot that you wouldn't want. I was tempted to buy a sheep's head but settled for a kebab instead.

It was back to Greece for day seven as the ship arrived in Rhodes. This turned out to be our favourite port of call. Rhodes old town is encircled by a wall and most traffic is prohibited from entering; this means it retains a feeling of antiquity that is lost from other places by the noise of engines and the smell of exhaust fumes. The old town is a maze of little cobbled streets, some only about six or eight feet across, the buildings on opposite sides of the streets are braced by buttresses as a defence against earthquakes. Wandering about a place like this is just a pleasure and I hope we'll be going back there at some point.

On day eight we awoke in Limassol, Cyprus. We had booked ourselves on a coach excursion to Paphos to visit the Tombs of the Kings and the House of Dionysos where there are many Roman mosaics in a fantastic state of preservation. On the way to Paphos we had a photo stop at Aphrodite’s rock - supposedly the birthplace of the goddess. Keren was familiar with Paphos having spent time there before and it was nice for her to see the harbour again. It's another place where we hope to return.

Day nine was our final port of call - Alexandria, Egypt. Many of our shipmates boarded one of the 55 coaches on the dockside for trips to the pyramids. We couldn't face the seven to eight hour round trip so we opted for a tour around Alexandria instead. It was a whistle-stop itinerary which included the Citadel of Qaitbay, the El-Mursi Abul-Abbas mosque, the Library of Alexandria, the National Museum, the Roman amphitheatre, the Montaza Palace and Gardens and, finally, a papyrus shop. Phew! When we returned to the ship it was very quiet as most people would not be returning from their pyramid trips until after 9pm. That being the case, the normal dinner sittings were suspended for one night. As our American friends would not be there, we took up a standing offer to eat in the Club Concordia a la carte restaurant. The food and service that we had been enjoying every night was of very high quality and we wanted to see how much better the other restaurant could be. The service was a notch higher, e.g. a dedicated wine waiter who swirls the wine around in a tasting glass for about a minute before letting you try it, and the food was even better. The highlight was my dessert, I ordered ice cream and the waiter arrived at our table with a bowl of milk and eggs and a jug of smoking liquid nitrogen. He mixed the two together resulting in clouds of dry ice cascading from his mixing bowl like a witch’s cauldron. The effect was spectacular and the end result was ice cream that was very cold but very creamy without the usual ice crystals.

Days ten and eleven were spent steaming north-west back through the Strait of Messina to Civitavecchia. Unfortunately Keren was ill on the second of these two days at sea and spent most of it in bed (or in the bathroom!) so I had to entertain myself by trying to increase our collection of bar receipts. There were about a dozen bars onboard and it was our aim to buy a drink in each.

On the morning of day 12 we were back where we started in Civitavecchia, we had made arrangements with the crew to leave the boat early. Our flight home left at noon and time was a bit tight - we explained our problem to the customer services manager onboard and she couldn't have been more helpful, probably another example of a perk of being in a suite but you've got to exploit these privileges when they are offered! We were escorted off the ship and straight to a waiting taxi who whisked us the the airport. It all went so smoothly that we were sat at the airport an hour early!

The flight home was unremarkable and entailed another three hour stopover in Milan. We arrived back at London City at about 5pm. When we got to Kings Cross it was absolutely packed. One glance at the arrival and departure boards explained why. Due to signal failure, nothing could get into or out of the station. The entrance gates to the underground station had been closed because it was full of people trying to use an alternative route. We didn't fancy battling our way on to public transport with two big suitcases and a couple of other bags; so I left Keren with the luggage and went in search of a bed for the night. A Travelodge room was duly acquired and we retired to the luxury of three single beds and complementary toiletries in the shape of one mini bar of soap. How the mighty fall but at least it was better than the alternative. We had had no travel problems in all the miles we'd covered in the previous three weeks, it took good old British railways to upset our perfect record.

Not to be disheartened, we decided to view this unexpected extension as a blessing and went out for a traditional British meal of curry and beer. Keren even managed to provide me with a good pub near Kings Cross - something that I didn't believe existed. In future, try Smithy's if you're in search of some pre-rail libation. The next morning we headed back to the station and were pleased to learn that our 1st class tickets from the previous day were still valid.

So it was back to South Hykeham with four hours of video, hundreds of photos and thousands of memories. What a great trip - when's the next one?